Post by kingkookasingitloud on Mar 10, 2017 7:31:25 GMT 10
Kookakakkakaka oh how good does it feel to let this out again, this old kooka is soooooo tired having just arrived back from the Camp Nou. Yes I can hear my baby kookas singing my praises after my role in helping the boys from Barca overcome the frogs from PSG in the champions league greatest ever comeback. 3 weeks ago the great Louis Enrique called after the barca dismal showing in the frog capital PARIS - apparently he had heard about my role at the Kooka nest & the influence I have had over the club & especially prems squad for past 40 years. The greatest creation ever to grace a football pitch in the GDSFA (oops sorry now Hills football - we don't associate with those plebs from the other side of the tracks anymore) the great 18 Carat was just a toddler when I worked my magic on him. The boy who had nothing & the man who now has everythin. A player with the golden touch that make messi (well look messy) , accelerating pace that makes Usain look like a GUMP & agility that makes a gazelle look like its drunk. well anyway Louis heard that I may have something that no other man manager has & that is a magic wand -- yes the same one I waved last year when the Kookas took out the double.
OK enough about me now lets talk all things football.
Due to my large network of scouts & moles I am hearing many things this year about some of the squads - so lets break down the contenders.
(1) Kellyville Kolts - Since the departure of the great Stanley (who has moved 2 minutes up the road - but to a much nicer area instead of staying at the fLEA PIT (SORRY BERNIE MULLANE - SOUNDS LIKE A SWIMMING CENTRE NOT A FOOTBALL PARK) they are only a shadow of the former average team they were. I do hear though that a couple of young up & comers have joinedthe squad after their release from jouvie.
(2) Winston Hills Bears - Bears really the only club that calls themselves bears are ones that should go back to hibernation (in the GDSFA) where they belong. But since they have the smoking Spaniard as coach - the man who looks like pep guardiola after hes been bashed over the head with a cooking pan well anything can happen. Butl let me say this Orange aint the new BLUE & the boys at Eric are still not impressed with your dogged departure. Could be a long season for Pep.
(3) Kenthurst - I have inside knowledge that the mainstay of the team the great Gonzo has moved on & is now tending to his vegie patch in the quaint village of Glenorie & some of the other stars are staying away from Churchville (sorry hillsfootball) & are continuing on the mission to bring another Gladesville trophy back to the kents only via west penno.
(4) COPTIC FC - sorry when did Coptic Merrylands become the Hills area (maybe they imported a GPS from one of the countries that TRUMP has on his hit list) -- automatic relegation at seasons end.
(5) North West FC - Young dumb & can not Come - sorry maybe a few years away from glory
(6) NORWEST FC - I think they left off the TH & are just a patsy wanting to become North West - go back to all age as u r no chance of glory this season.
(7) Castle Hill FC - the darkhorse & they only real threat to the mighty burras for 2017. A squad full of youth & testosterone bubbling about like hot oil in a deep fryer. The only thing that can stop these young blokes is if we have a Wayne Carey/Anthony stevens situation & one of the lads shags anothers girl - OH Sorry that's what all youngsters do now anyway, I guess same as the old KOOKA used to do when the misses & I used to turn up @ the sporties & throw our keys in the bowl.
(8) Hills Knights FC - By all reports training the house down & recruitment under the assoc president has been first class - many jaunts down to the PCYC @ Blacktown with free scholarships to learn football in Churchville courtesy of the Hillsfootball works wonders (over 50 at trials) & from my insiders words - DEFINITELY a top4 side
(9) Kellyville United FC - Forget this year next year the year after & the year after that - since the great Stan has given focus to the O45s & is pitching to FFA about starting a seniors Australian league that he can captain (to go with his other 30 caps) premier league is a thing of that past for him so the club suffers by fielding a div5-6 side but just says we have prems to look good on the webpage & add to the burgeoning ego of the man the call STAN
(10) Kookakakakakakakaka sing it loud & sing it proud boys because the inaugural title is coming to Teddy. Absolute minimal competition & a squad full of fit hot & beautiful souls will ensure an end of season trip full of celebrations that will male brokeback mountain look like a PG film.
In closing I should point out that the KOOKAS have just signed a 5 year deal with FDC & we are giving away free microwaves @ Teddy this Saturday for all & sundry.
Thankyou to the great Golden GK 18 Carat for using his influence to secure this great sponsorship.
OK enough about me now lets talk all things football.
Due to my large network of scouts & moles I am hearing many things this year about some of the squads - so lets break down the contenders.
(1) Kellyville Kolts - Since the departure of the great Stanley (who has moved 2 minutes up the road - but to a much nicer area instead of staying at the fLEA PIT (SORRY BERNIE MULLANE - SOUNDS LIKE A SWIMMING CENTRE NOT A FOOTBALL PARK) they are only a shadow of the former average team they were. I do hear though that a couple of young up & comers have joinedthe squad after their release from jouvie.
(2) Winston Hills Bears - Bears really the only club that calls themselves bears are ones that should go back to hibernation (in the GDSFA) where they belong. But since they have the smoking Spaniard as coach - the man who looks like pep guardiola after hes been bashed over the head with a cooking pan well anything can happen. Butl let me say this Orange aint the new BLUE & the boys at Eric are still not impressed with your dogged departure. Could be a long season for Pep.
(3) Kenthurst - I have inside knowledge that the mainstay of the team the great Gonzo has moved on & is now tending to his vegie patch in the quaint village of Glenorie & some of the other stars are staying away from Churchville (sorry hillsfootball) & are continuing on the mission to bring another Gladesville trophy back to the kents only via west penno.
(4) COPTIC FC - sorry when did Coptic Merrylands become the Hills area (maybe they imported a GPS from one of the countries that TRUMP has on his hit list) -- automatic relegation at seasons end.
(5) North West FC - Young dumb & can not Come - sorry maybe a few years away from glory
(6) NORWEST FC - I think they left off the TH & are just a patsy wanting to become North West - go back to all age as u r no chance of glory this season.
(7) Castle Hill FC - the darkhorse & they only real threat to the mighty burras for 2017. A squad full of youth & testosterone bubbling about like hot oil in a deep fryer. The only thing that can stop these young blokes is if we have a Wayne Carey/Anthony stevens situation & one of the lads shags anothers girl - OH Sorry that's what all youngsters do now anyway, I guess same as the old KOOKA used to do when the misses & I used to turn up @ the sporties & throw our keys in the bowl.
(8) Hills Knights FC - By all reports training the house down & recruitment under the assoc president has been first class - many jaunts down to the PCYC @ Blacktown with free scholarships to learn football in Churchville courtesy of the Hillsfootball works wonders (over 50 at trials) & from my insiders words - DEFINITELY a top4 side
(9) Kellyville United FC - Forget this year next year the year after & the year after that - since the great Stan has given focus to the O45s & is pitching to FFA about starting a seniors Australian league that he can captain (to go with his other 30 caps) premier league is a thing of that past for him so the club suffers by fielding a div5-6 side but just says we have prems to look good on the webpage & add to the burgeoning ego of the man the call STAN
(10) Kookakakakakakakaka sing it loud & sing it proud boys because the inaugural title is coming to Teddy. Absolute minimal competition & a squad full of fit hot & beautiful souls will ensure an end of season trip full of celebrations that will male brokeback mountain look like a PG film.
In closing I should point out that the KOOKAS have just signed a 5 year deal with FDC & we are giving away free microwaves @ Teddy this Saturday for all & sundry.
Thankyou to the great Golden GK 18 Carat for using his influence to secure this great sponsorship.